Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Your Mother's Acne

During an attack of the devil-may-care two months ago, I decided to stop taking my bio-identical, locally grown, politically correct hormones. I'm feeling great, I thought. I accept myself, thick ankles, worry wrinkles, dry skin and all.  What do I need hormones for?  When the bottles ran out, I just stopped taking my morning and evening doses.  Immediately,  I experienced a feeling of peace and a sense of maturity.

Nearly just as immediately, I developed a colony of zits on my chin. No matter how much water I drank, how little fat I ate, or how much sleep I got, the zits stayed. Then, they decided in a city council vote to expand the border of their borough, and fenced off their new metropolis with -- you guessed it -- more zits. My chin is now a sad, bumpy place. I think there is a drug trade starting up in one of the newer neighborhoods.

So, no longer feeling quite so secure in my peaceful maturity, I called the nice people at the New Hampshire compounding pharmacy and refilled my prescriptions for estradiol and progesterone. I think I will kiss each one of those little pills when they arrive -- right before I tell them to go forth and kick butt.


Blue Lass said...

Um...mightn't it work better to taper off slowly?

Anne Lindenfeld said...

One would think so! Actually, I am on an infinitessimal (can't spell that) dosage. Apparently, my body joneses for that teeny tiny dose.

It would have been really nice if most of the estrogen in my person had not chosen to vacate the premises before I was 40. !! Very poor manners.