Friday, July 18, 2008
Old Lady Puberty Pills
Today, I got a box in the mail. Of course, Sam (aka Tweenish One) watched me carefully when I opened it, like all kids do when they are really, really hoping it's something for them, which all boxes in the mail are supposed to be. For them. He stopped watching though, when I pulled out two prescription bottles. He'd seen it all before.
Disgustedly, he asked me: "Are you STILL taking those old lady puberty pills? "
After I stopped laughing, I had to say, yes, I was still taking old lady puberty pills. I tried explaining about hormone loss and bioidentical compoounding, and how I get these specially made hormones from a place in New Hampshire, and, well, that's about when he slumped even further down on the sofa. "Mom, please, you can't talk about that stuff with a GUY," he told me.
Tweenish One was not amused. He was worried. The conversation continued.
T.0.: "You know, since I am beginning like the introduction to puberty, does this mean I am going to have to take any pills for it, once it gets bad and all."
O.L.P.: "No, guys don't have to take pills, just women."
T.O.: "Not even when they get old, like Old Man Puberty."
O.L.P.: "No, they just buy a sports car."
T.O.: "Sounds a lot better than the pills, Mom."
I thought about that later, the whole "what we do when we get to menopause (male or female), and I think women have their priorities all off. We should be asking for a Lamborghini (okay, a Miata?), not estrogen. Once again, men are getting the bigger locker room -- or something like that.
Now I understand why I have been lusting after Vespas lately. I wonder, if I come home with one, do you think I can just say it's for my menopause?