Today I am 48 years old, which I must say is completely mind-blowing. I don't feel like I'm 48, whatever that means. I remember my grandmother saying this right up to her last, and 99th, year. ("But I don't feel like I'm that old!") It is one of those things I couldn't understand until I got to a "certain age." In the same way, I sneered as a 20-something when I saw an older couple sitting silently over dinner in a restaurant -- never knowing that years later my husband and I would happily carry the NY Times with us to eat breakfast at our favorite diner.
Nevertheless, I believe it's important to take one's age as it comes, because the alternative is absolutely no fun at all. Naturally, I took the day in stride. Not. I managed to grouse, complain, and feel sorry for myself in ways that can best be described as beeeatch. My husband wore me down with a homecooked breakfast, a lovely pearl ring, and a large measure of patiently delivered deep sighs. Friends came over for breakfast and stayed for cake. Somewhere in there I managed to take my ungrateful self off for a facial. I can honestly say that I was converted to a semblance of human decency by goodwill and love until finally ....
I got over myself and started to have fun. Now I am awaiting the delicious dinner that my godson is preparing for me downstairs. And I am hoping that I will remember the fine lesson of today: Trust in the ones who love me -- before paying much mind to my own flawed and unreliable nature. Amen.
Fortunately, I'm going to have another go at doing the birthday thing. Next weekend I am throwing myself a birthday brunch combo book giveaway. It seems that as you approach 50, you begin to divest yourself of all the things that in your 20s you were determined to have more of. Go figure.
And oh so fitting for the day, the following clip shows us as we are, running full circle from child to childlike. Perhaps, not such a bad thing after all.